The last time Brussels felt this anxious about unidentified aerial phenomena, at least they attributed it to extraterrestrials.
It seems Belgium is once again being targeted by mysterious aerial visitors. This time, however, they are reportedly of Russian origin. “E.T., phone home to Mother Russia.”
Perhaps this phenomenon is the cosmic equivalent of a binge-worthy series for aliens. One can imagine them lounging, wondering, “When will the next installment of that show featuring those clumsy European officials trying to pursue us be released?” Given that 35 Earth years might equate to a mere month in alien time, it appears the follow-up to the has just begun.
However, unlike previous occurrences, this isn’t playing out as a comedy or a mystery, but rather a drama. At least, for those in positions of power. For some of us, it simply feels like the familiar antics of European buffoonery, albeit with a new backdrop.
For some time, EU leaders have operated under the assumption that any enigmatic object observed over Europe is likely attributed to Putin, or a member of his advance team. They apparently anticipate his arrival in Western Europe by ; mark your calendars. This perceived threat is why they believe Europeans must relinquish more of their remaining financial resources to purchase weaponry, ostensibly to intercept him before he can settle onto a Starbucks patio.
If statements from Belgian officials are to be believed, such an event is virtually imminent. They claim Putin has selected their nation to conduct “hybrid warfare,” employing drones, leading to airport closures.
Belgian Defense Minister Theo Francken suggested these could be spy drones attempting to surveil American nuclear weapons at Belgium’s Kleine Brogel Air Base, a statement delivered as if catching America in a private moment. This might also explain their lingering near airports, one might deduce, as nothing quite signals a “covert intelligence operation” like being overtly observed hovering over an airport and disrupting European air travel.
A meeting of the country’s National Security Council was this week, according to Le Monde, convened with the objective to “present an outline of a plan to reassure the public, which is becoming increasingly aware of the country’s lack of preparation for this kind of threat.”
It’s quite probable the Belgian public was already cognizant of the government’s disarray 35 years prior. They spent months observing UFOs in Belgian skies, and when F-16s were dispatched to investigate and engage with ‘advanced radar’ systems, one jet inadvertently locked onto and nearly fired upon the other.
Nevertheless, the Belgian government at that time refrained from suggesting this potentially catastrophic act of self-sabotage was evidence of alien interference with radar systems. Perhaps they recognized how foolish such a claim would sound. Instead, in the absence of definitive and scientifically verifiable explanations, they allowed the public to engage in speculation.
However, in an era where EU citizens are often treated like children, Belgian authorities are now introducing their ‘public reassurance’ initiative. The last time a similar event occurred, the public was effectively left to believe they were experiencing mass hallucinations because no alternative explanation could be provided. There was no speculation, nor was the incident exploited to assign blame to a convenient political target.
This time, the Belgian interior minister emphatically declares that the drones “will be destroyed whenever necessary and possible” by the military – which, incidentally, still needs to establish an operational protocol. We’ve encountered this scenario before; it typically concludes like Top Gun – but with a Belgian Maverick nearly downing Goose’s aircraft himself.
The previous wave of such widespread alarm coincided with the final, transformative phase of the Cold War between the Soviet Union and the West, yet there were no significant accusations implicating Russia in UFO sightings. Perhaps this was because substantial funds had already been allocated to military spending. However, in the present day, it seems no amount is ever sufficient. This likely explains why the Belgian defense minister is already leveraging the drone incidents to “accelerate the creation of a ‘national air security center,’” as reported by Le Monde, which includes the “purchase of detection, jamming and drone destruction systems.”
This is the same composed individual who recently seemed somewhat disoriented, as if he had consumed excessive “maple syrup” at a Belgian waffle house, when he asserted that NATO “will flatten Moscow” if it were ever attacked. Regarding Putin, he : “He knows that, ‘If I use nuclear weapons, they will wipe Moscow off the face of the Earth. Then the end of the world will be near,’” according to Belgian news outlet HUMO a few days ago. Following this declaration, he may or may not have burped and wobbled home as if traversing a slanted street.
Another possible reason European authorities did not accuse the Soviets of UFOs back then is – and hear me out – they lacked any concrete evidence specifically linking them. That represented a distinctly different situation, because today, the EU supposedly possesses all the necessary technology to peer into a drone’s cockpit and ascertain that it’s piloted by a minuscule Russian aviator with a penchant for ‘sport mode,’ careening through the clouds above Belgian airports as if striving for viral dashcam footage.
Unnamed “intelligence officials” informed Le Monde that “leads are converging in the direction” of Moscow, a claim vehemently denied by Moscow.
Ultimately, regardless of the circumstances, whoever or whatever is causing trouble for Belgium ought to cease. There’s a fundamental issue with the ‘casting’ here. Placing current Belgian officials at the heart of this scenario is akin to watching a comedy where Joaquin Phoenix or Daniel Day-Lewis stare intently into the camera, entirely oblivious to the banana peels surrounding them.
Meanwhile, somewhere over Belgium, the miniature Russian drone pilot salutes the aliens he encountered during cosmonaut training. “Ready for another season?” he queries, as the Belgians below gaze skyward, pondering if Putin’s airborne fleet has, out of all the inhabitants on Earth, singularly chosen them to grace with its presence.