Lim: Heartbreak

The first time I broke my heart, I was inconsolable. I cried buckets, slept little, was lost and listless for a while. It wasn’t the rejection; it was the betrayal.Many more heartbreaks would come in my life but I would learn through time to forfeit fantasy and reconcile with reality. So, the last heartbreak caused nary a teardrop. Experience was my illumination. I had welded my heart shut.Last Monday, I broke my heart. But I shed no tears. I had none left.I’ve fought many battles. I know good doesn’t always triumph over evil. But faith always gives me the hope that despite evil, some good will still prevail—not to wage war but to empower survivors.Yes. Life is unjust. Some are born into wealth and some are born into poverty. Some are born to look like goddesses and some are born just like me. Some subsist on bad habits but with good genes, they live to be 80 while some live well, get cancer and die early.Some things we cannot change so for the things we can, we must fight fiercely.Last Monday, I thought I had found “the one.” But it was not to be. So, once more, I broke my heart. But I slept soundly. Because, what else was there left for me to do but to find the will to survive so I can live another day to love again. And to fight again for this country.And in shared pain, I found my healing.Will I ever find someone like this, again, in my lifetime? How many more chances have I got to choose the president of this country? How much time do I have left? I felt hope fading.But in prayer, I found illumination.I am not alone. I am only one of the millions who have the power to vote. The fate and future of this nation does not rest on me alone. Each year, new voters are made and born. So, the fight continues to enlighten, educate and inform.No regrets. That’s how my epitaph will read.Our voices always count even when they don’t make an echo. Our choices always count even when they don’t cause a ripple. Our actions always count even when they don’t add towards a tally that brings a visible victory.All the things we do, count—even when no one knows about them. All that we do, even in obscurity, allows us to live well and die peacefully. The victory is from within. It is not unfelt but it is unseen.No one loves in vain.So, don’t, for a moment, think you voted in vain. Don’t, for a moment, believe that God ignored you. Don’t, for a moment, doubt the wisdom of God’s plans. Have faith. Wait patiently—in time, you will comprehend.Sometimes, God breaks your heart to save your life. Sometimes, God breaks your heart to make you see the light. Sometimes, God breaks your heart if only to show you—you cannot ever weld your heart shut.Last Monday, I broke my heart. It wasn’t the rejection; it was the betrayal.