Moises: Tips on how to be the best boyfriend ever

JASON: Hi, Singlestalk! I’m 25. Just went into a relationship. She’s my first. We were classmates in college, lost touch after graduation and were reunited when we collaborated on a project a few months ago. Are there any tips you can share? I really think she’s the one.DJ: Chick flicks and romantic comedies raised the bar and it may seem like it’s too hard to reach. And you’re asking counsel from me whose dating experience is littered with broken hearts and cast-aside dreams. Thanks. But yeah, you should pat yourself on the back for being here wanting to know what it takes to show your girl that you love her. This means you’re not that douche bag who’s lazy to meet her expectations because you’re done with the chase. You mean well. That’s a good start. While every woman is different, here are a few things I’ve picked up over the years so you can be the best boyfriend she ever had. Ready?Love her through actions. You should by no means put her on a pedestal every single day. But walk the talk. Ask her how her day is going. Send her messages, not every five minutes but on intervals that make her know you’re thinking about her. Endure her bizarre or annoying request for an IG shot. You have quirks of your own too. Don’t forget your monthsaries, anniversaries or even the day you two first met. Buy her lunch. Show up with flowers on a random day. It’s not about how many gifts you buy. It’s about giving her the attention she deserves.Provide her a safe space to be herself. Is she into sports? Offer to play her favorite sport together. Bring up something you know she’s passionate about. Through time, I learned that a relationship isn’t 50-50 but rather 100-100. You give it your 100 percent best whatever that means to you. She gives it her 100 percent too. Whatever that means to her. Don’t expect her to do the same for you. Focus on yourself too and be your own person. Women love to see a man who works hard and has his own ambition. And unless she’s being a total racist or displaying some serious bitchy tendencies, don’t contradict her in public. Leave the home truths until you’re both alone.Pay attention when she’s speaking. Everyone these days is looking at their devices so often that they lose track of each other. Listening takes more than just cocking your head upward and downward like that classic miniature dog on the dashboard. Understand what she’s trying to say. Forming a strong emotional connection is key to security. Consider her dreams and ambitions. Then give her the chance and support she needs to develop herself as a successful professional she wants to be.Respect existing relationships. Her friends were there long before you. It’s likely that they are not going away anytime soon. Unless you’re a drug dealer, they’re not even actively trying to break you up. Besides, it’s likely for your girlfriend to take input from people she values. If these people are on your side, your girlfriend will appreciate you so much more.Choose kindness over winning arguments. Yes, every information can be accessed through Google but people still have the right to be wrong. Letting her occasionally misidentify a few cabinet officials under the new Philippine government will serve you better in the long run. Dude, if winning every argument is your top priority, the only things keeping you warm at night will be the radiant glow of your rightness and the blankets you don’t have to share because you will forever sleep alone.Ultimately, communicate. If you want to be better, ask her how you can be better. If you feel there’s something lacking on her side, be sure to let her know. Being in love is one thing. Keeping that love alive is another. Being a good boyfriend starts with being a good friend. Work from there.