THIS 2021 Day of Hearts, you deserve what’s best for you. And what’s best for you definitely does not include doing these five things.
So, dear reader, this Valentine’s Day please DO NOT:
1. Stalk your ex.
Because—why? Why would you ever do that to yourself? There’s a reason why your relationship ended, and that’s because it had to. Tugging at those strings that attach you to what once was is unnecessary. The only reason you should ever look back is so that you know what not to do moving forward. If it’s for any other reason… Well, then grab some scissors and cut those ties that are holding you back.
2. Wallow in self-pity about being single.
There’s nothing wrong with being single. Louder for the people at the back? THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING SINGLE. It may be upsetting to some but—even if no man is an island—we were all born as singular individuals anyway. Most of us were born with all the basics we need to function and survive.
And yes, children need someone to help nurture their growth, but a proper grown adult does not need another one to function.
Relationships are important but there are so many different kinds of relationships out there. A romantic relationship isn’t the only one that brings about happiness.
So, chin up. Stand on your own. Be independent. And remember that being romantically involved with someone is only a “nice-to-have”, not necessarily a “must-have”.
3. Pretend to enjoy something you don’t.
Would you pretend to have absolute fun during that root canal? Gosh no! There is a fine line between being polite and faking it. A bad date, attention that you don’t want, compliments that are a little “too much”—if the situation makes you uncomfortable, don’t pretend to like it.
We’re all too old to be sacrificing ourselves and pretending to enjoy something we don’t. It’s etiquette to be sensitive to how others might feel, so it’s good not to insult or be rude about a certain situation (unless it certainly calls for it) but just make sure that you’re not completely sacrificing the truth of how you feel as well.
4. Get back with a toxic person just because you don’t want to be alone.
This is the ugly sister of #1 in this article. Ladies and Gents, there is no room to be marupok in a situation like this. It’s a path to self-harm and self-destruction. And, TBH, it’s just not cute at all.
If you already know the drink is poisonous, why would you even take it?
Don’t be a toxi-holic.
5. Doubt that love is out there.
Don’t be a Cynical Cindy! Even though it may not seem in the pipeline for you right now, who’s to say it’ll be that way forever? Sometimes love comes when you least expect it.
It may not come in the form that you want or expect it to, but it is definitely out there—perhaps even in the way that you need.
Maybe right now you don’t need the whole “desperate embrace in the arms of a lover” bonanza, maybe you just need a cup of hot cocoa and a warm hug from a friend or a comforting (and chaotic) call from the people back home.