In order to create new rules, we need to let go of the old ones. It’s not a sell-out when our views change. It’s only a sell-out when our views were never real in the first place. Because one’s perspective changes over time.
When we speak from a place of honesty, there is no shame in admitting that we previously spoke from a place of ignorance or lack of insight. We are perpetual works in progress. Education is lifelong. Enlightenment comes to us at different points in our lives.
Knowledge can be consciously acquired. But insight comes at its own time — like a light bulb that magically comes on during an epiphany. We don’t have to stick to what we previously believed in if our life experiences grant us the gift of wisdom to see things differently.
Women do not ask to be seen as superior to men. They only ask to be seen as equals. Equal in regard and importance. Equal in rights and privileges. Equal in access to opportunities and choices.
Equality does not mean sameness. Because men and women are not the same. Equality means oneness — one moral code. One and the same opportunity for everyone.
A woman does not need to morph into a man to be equal to him. So free the nipple if you must but don’t burn your bra because you think it will put you on equal footing with a man.
Do it for freedom not revenge. Do it for comfort not domination. Do it for yourself not for anyone else.
We can create new rules. But only if we find room in our minds to think differently, radically, critically. We can change the rules. But only if we find room in our hearts to grow in empathy, compassion, generosity.
When I went to China for language studies, I had to unlearn the Zhuyin (a.k.a. Bopomofo) phonetic system to learn Pinyin. I had to shift from traditional to simplified Chinese characters. And to learn Pinyin, I had to let go of how I read the alphabet since kindergarten. In essence, I had to unlearn 12 years of schooling.
Perhaps, it wasn’t complete unlearning but to let something new into your life, you have to let some of the old go.
Because while it is difficult to remember the details, one never really forgets the betrayal. And while it can be hard to let someone into your life, it is harder to let someone go.
Unlearning is more difficult than learning. Forgetting is more difficult than remembering. Letting go is more difficult than letting in.
But it is not impossible. It requires flexibility, humility, magnanimity. Flexibility to recognize there is another way. Humility to consider there is a better way. Magnanimity to see the wisdom of adopting the better way.
“Every act of creation begins with an act of destruction.”
Excerpts from a speech given at the 49th Anniversary of Federacion Internacional de Abogadas Cebu Inc. (Fida Cebu)