My mood and attitude have gravely shifted and I have become hypersensitive to changes around me, destabilizing me at every turn.
I have been told that what I am experiencing may be Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).
According to Mayo Clinic, SAD is a type of depression that’s related to changes in seasons beginning and ending at about the same times every year, mostly during the winter season.
In the case of the Philippines, that would be around November and December.
I have yet to seek professional help and this is the first time I have actually experienced it in such gravity.
Still, it is undeniable that as the season grows brighter, I am growing sadder for reasons I cannot explain. This may simply be Holiday blues.
A friend, who was actually diagnosed with SAD, told me that December is the most difficult of the year for her. While the world rejoiced and the city is decorated with an abundance of lights, all she could think of were her failures for that year.
Her condition is so grave that her medications double during December to keep her mood and mental state stable.
Whether I am in fact suffering from SAD or not, all I know is that this December, I am sadder than usual.
It makes one wonder when the magic of Christmas has lost its spark inside one’s head.
Perhaps December turned blue when it became a looking glass for the past year. It becomes even more painful when the year you are looking at was a struggle.
Yet I had one of the most exciting years of my life this 2022. I had once-in-a-lifetime experiences and I made life-changing decisions.
It does not make sense for me to feel such despair during the Christmas season.
Verywell Mind, a mental health wellness website, suggests a cheat list for dealing with holiday blues.
The first would be to drink only in moderation as intoxication exacerbates negative emotions and would increase the risk of dependencies.
The second is to resist the urge to isolate yourself because this could lead to depression when you lose your social support.
The third would be to learn to say no. Just because the holiday season is a time to give doesn’t mean you are obliged to.
The fourth would be to find time for yourself, at least an hour daily to get your bearings and return to your core.
And lastly, set realistic expectations. The key is to focus on connections, create new traditions, and remember fond memories of past holidays while still enjoying the one right in front of you.
As we grow older, the holidays change. It can be difficult to accept that Christmases are no longer as colorful or as bright as when we were children.
Still, even when December has become melancholic, let’s not forget that love and joy are what it symbolizes. Perhaps love and joy as adults are now different, but it is never gone.